What Will You Do With Difficult People?
Have you ever stopped to consider how often you are in a position to either be used by God for someone else’s benefit—or respond in a way that harms them?
It happens more often than we probably realize.
Whenever we encounter someone who irritates us, frustrates us, or simply feels very different from us, we have a choice to make. And if we think about our weekly schedules, there are probably plenty of opportunities!
There are two common ways we can respond to awkward or difficult relationships.
1. We may be tempted to write people off.
If someone doesn’t seem to benefit us, understand us, or satisfy us relationally, we may simply dismiss them. We can begin to see them as less important—or perhaps even less valuable—than we are.
In those moments, we may become the abuser, not necessarily through obvious cruelty, but through our attitudes, judgments, indifference, or refusal to engage.
2. We may turn the rejection inward.
Instead of dismissing the other person, we may assume that we are the problem. When a relationship is difficult or we don’t feel connected, we may begin to question ourselves: What’s wrong with me? Why don’t they like me? Am I inadequate? Am I being rejected?
In those moments, we can become the abused—not necessarily because the other person is intentionally abusing us, but because our own thoughts begin to tear us down.
Both responses are natural. But neither is God’s best for us.
The enemy can use either one to distort the way we see ourselves and others. When we dismiss someone, we devalue a person whom God created and loves. When we turn our insecurity inward, we can begin to agree with thoughts that tell us we are inadequate, unwanted, or without value.
But what if difficult relationships could become opportunities for something entirely different?
What if, instead of dismissing people or becoming consumed with our own insecurity, we learned to ask:
“God, how do You want to use me in this person’s life?”
God wants to use us throughout our day—in all kinds of relationships and circumstances. Even the uncomfortable ones.
So how do we become more available to Him?
A. Cultivate a continual heart of worship.
Worship changes the way we see.
When our hearts are turned toward God, we can begin to see people and circumstances from His perspective rather than simply reacting to how they make us feel. We begin to recognize that every relationship and every circumstance has spiritual value and can become a tool in God’s hands.
Instead of asking, “What can I get from this person?” or “Why do I have to deal with this?” we can begin asking, “God, what are You doing here?”
B. Recognize that God may want you to intercede.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do for someone is not to fix them, correct them, or even understand them.
It may be to pray for them.
Seek God’s will and blessing for the people He places in your path. Don’t allow their personality, needs, idiosyncrasies, or even their unbelief to keep you from going to God on their behalf.
This is a wonderful and powerful calling: to allow God to use our prayers to bring His blessing, freedom, and transformation into someone else’s life.
Jesus Himself “always lives to intercede” for us (Hebrews 7:25; Romans 8:34).
The Holy Spirit intercedes for us according to God’s will (Romans 8:27).
And we are told to “be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people” (Ephesians 6:18).
So the next time you encounter someone who irritates you, confuses you, or simply seems difficult to connect with, pause before you react.
Instead of writing them off, or writing yourself off, ask God:
“How can I bless this person?”
“What do You want me to see?”
“How can I pray for them?”
We will all have difficult relationships. The question is what we will do with them.
Will we allow them to bring out our judgment or our insecurity?
Or will we allow God to use them as an opportunity to love, intercede, bless, and strengthen someone else?
