How Are You Doing?
“How are you? … I hope all is well.” This is the kind of greeting many of us write to those we have not been in touch with for a while. It’s a very general and surface approach. When in person, however, we may want to go deeper. Unfortunately, oftentimes people are not very aware of how they are doing and aren’t inclined to answer very deeply. When you ask most people how they are doing, they may describe what’s going on around them – their circumstances. If you press in a little further, they might describe how they feel about their circumstances and what they are trying to do about them. Few people seem to take stock of how they are doing below/beyond their circumstances. Yet, our lives are deeper than what is happening around us.
Our circumstances will change. Sometimes great things will happen and sometimes horrendous things will happen. Sometimes life seems very routine. These experiences will affect us, but they need not determine the state of our soul. Jesus told His disciples that life does not consist of an abundance (or a lack) of possessions. (Luke 12:15) Believe it or not, life is deeper than resources, relationships and even health. These are all valuable, but they don’t define us. Deep down we are defined by the health of our soul – our relationship with God, our sense of self, our connection with others and our sense of purpose. Our souls monitor, connect and oversee it all. So, we must take time to hear from, and care for, our souls.
As you come to the close of this year, it can be a valuable time to listen to your soul. Take stock of the categories just mentioned – and sit with how you “feel” with each area. Don’t problem solve, or set direction or goals; just “be” with yourself in God’s presence – experiencing and sharing how you are really doing with Him. At first this might be difficult; it may also be painful. If it is painful, realize that the sitting and paying attention is not causing the pain, it is only acknowledging the pain that is already there. I recently asked a woman how she was doing. She answered, then answered a little more deeply, then seemingly out of the blue started crying. She said, “I don’t know why I am crying.” I said, “I think you are touching the pain of your soul.”
Make time to start to process this past year and how you are doing. This is where God does great and deep healing. When you have acknowledged how you are doing and invited God into the process, then you will be ready to set direction and goals in the future. If you try to move ahead too soon, however, it could well be dangerous for your soul and your overall health. How you are doing is not as important as being with God in how you are doing. That’s the real starting place.
~ Coach Tom
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